Wednesday, 30 April 2014

When I was a 'Bachelor Boy'


I wrote this just before I got married on 28th Dec 2001 !!

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  My days are numbered. I mean my days a as a bachelor are drawing to a close as I am getting married in a fortnight. The feeling prior to the event is nothing like going to the gallows as some people, who had the worse of the bargain, are apt to suggest. It is more of excitement though tinged with nostalgia about my bachelor years.

I am getting free advice from people of both species, married and unmarried. From the married ones , the standard line is like this, “ Bete aish kar lo,kuch din ke mehmaan ho” .( Make the most of it , young man. Your days are numbered) This gives me the jitters. Marriage is a strange institution. Everyone advises against it , yet everyone enters into it.


Recently in response to my mail informing him of my marriage a friend sent me a bunch of quotes on married life. Some were really funny : “ If you see a man opening the door of the car for his wife, only two things are possible, either the car is new or the wife is new”. Another one was like this ,“ I am not afraid of terrorism , I was married for two years” .This one made me think. My fiancĂ© being a dentist she can rearrange my set of teeth under the guise of practicing her profession. She won’t even need the traditionally accepted equipment for such purposes , the belan. My fears were allayed somewhat when I talked to her and found out that she believes in non-violence.


As an employed bachelor I had the privilege of living in four different cities and sharing accommodation with 17 guys in all. It was a great experience. They  came in all hues and colors and have enriched my life. It taught me to adjust with different kinds of people. It also taught me skills considered necessary for normal grihasth jivan (married life).One is learning to keep finances. While I was ‘living-in’ with the guys we used to maintain a booklet in which the one who paid would make an entry. Periodically the accounts would be calculated. There was this fellow with us who was notorious for never paying. This eventually showed up as a huge negative balance in his account .When the calculation would be going on his pulse would race as his amount rose and when the final figure came out the poor fellow would be a nervous wreck. That was quite a sight.


Another addition to my skill set during my bachelor years is Cooking. Till now I have tried to keep this a secret from my fiancĂ© as the implications can be dangerous for me. To begin with we would eat out daily.After a month it became clear that this is neither good for the palette nor cost-effective. So the kitchen was set up.  It would be more appropriate to call it a laboratory. Daily at night we carried out experiments. Initially the chapattis would resemble the maps of different countries, the pressure cooker would sulk and the contents would hit the roof. The urge to have home cooked meals triumphed in the end and we could somehow manage to cook palatable food.


Then there are the neighbours who come to mind. With bachelors living in the vicinity they react in different ways. There was this doctor who was scared as to what would happen to his two college going daughters now that four bachelors have rented the flat next to them. As time went by we became so close to that family that his wife was like a mother to us. Invariably wherever I have stayed the neighbours have been fabulous.


One also experiences funny and weird incidents. Recently I was in my office in Chennai. This is on the fourth floor of  a building. Suddenly the whole building started shaking. It didn’t take us long to realise that this was an earthquake. With the WTC attacks fresh in their minds, everyone ran down the stairs and were out in the streets in seconds. There was this colleague of mine who was on the phone when the quake hit. He calmly kept on talking as the floor shook and then after some time politely told the person on the other end, “Actually there is an earthquake here, would you mind if I call you after some time”. Then he walked out to the incredulous stares of the people already on the street. This must be the ‘height of nonchalance’.



I hope and pray that matrimony would not be such an earth shaking experience in my life as the only thing I want is to “settle down”.


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